This is the second article in a series inspired by my friend Miles in Mallorca, Spain. Today I’m focusing on how the spiritual practice of Cultivating the Witness can help with managing anger.

In the Fall of 2003, when I met my beloved spiritual teacher, David La Chapelle (who is “Basil” in my books, and who left this manifest realm in July, 2009), I felt as though most of my anger dissolved upon meeting him. There are many possible reasons for that, and I think that one of the primary is that he transmitted the Witness Consciousness to me. He also taught me tools for skillfully Cultivating the Witness in my daily life.

For me, the most vivid evidence that Cultivating the Witness was “working” in my life, was in how quickly I stopped yelling at my sons. Before meeting David – and learning to Cultivate the Witness – whenever I got frustrated with my then 3 and 6 year old sons, I lost my cool and raised my voice. Each time I yelled at them, they became frightened and then I felt incredibly guilty… But even though I felt guilty afterwards, I continued doing it…

… once I learned to watch myself more closely, I began to notice when I was starting to get overwhelmed, and so then I would verbally share what I was witnessing with my sons. I would say, in a calm, neutral voice, “I am witnessing that I am starting to feel angry, and I feel like screaming, but I am not going to.” I did this each time I felt frustrated with them, and in a short amount of time, they developed trust that Mama wasn’t going to yell anymore, and their little systems relaxed, and their behavior actually improved. 

If you are witnessing yourself getting angry at your boss or a co-worker, it probably won’t work to verbally share that you feel like yelling at them, but even if you just simply notice it inside yourself, that witnessing may help to cool you down, which will then ripple out and help the whole situation calm down. As David often told me, “We create our realities from the inside-out.”

The main point is to train your mind to objectively witness the anger. When you can calmly witness your reactions to life’s craziness, then some part of you begins to settle down. After anger arises in your system, try sitting in silent meditation and witnessing what part (or parts) wish to be filled with peace.

If you have questions about this practice, please post them in the comments section below this article.

May all beings know the Peace that comes from skillfully witnessing anger.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Spring photo of Teja by Teja Shankara.