On July 3^rd I posted a blog entitled “Amma gave me an apple!” This article is a continuation of that post, so if you haven’t read that one, please click on its title to read it first.

I just returned from spending six incredible days with Ammachi. The first time I went up for darshan (a hug), she gave me an apple, which really surprised me, since she had already given me an apple when I saw her in June. Then, the next day, when I went up for darshan, she gave me an apple again! I can’t claim to understand the significance of those apples, but I will say that after she put yet another apple in my hand (when I had not even eaten the apple she had just given me the day before), my first thought was, 'I need to learn how to receive.'

Feeling incredible Bliss and Delight, I sat down in a chair and deeply inhaled the scent of her perfume, which lingered around me for several minutes. I felt so in love with Amma, and I wrote in my journal, “So in love – magnitudes and magnitudes more than ever before – how to explain this burning heart love in mere words?” Needless to say, I ate those apples with much Gratitude in my heart.

This is just one sweet little story from my time with Amma. In upcoming blog articles, I will share more of my experiences from that pilgrimage.

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, peaceful sleep, and spiritual upliftment.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

 P.S. My pocket book of spiritual practices, Radiance Rising, makes a great holiday gift and it is on sale for just $5 per copy through December 16th. Also, 10% of every sale and donation on this website goes to Amma's charitable organizations.

Photo of Teja with apples by an Amma devotee.

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I’m writing this blog article in advance and setting it to post on November 22^nd, when I will be at Ammachi’s ashram, just outside of San Ramon, California. The hall at the M.A. Center will be full of people from all walks of life, and my heart will be full of the spiritual vibrations in that Amma Field. Words to describe it would be: colorful, vibrant, loud, fragrant of sandalwood and rose, and over-stimulating in a good, good way. While there, I open myself to take it all in, and allow it all to break down my barriers.

This Ammachi pilgrimage, I go with this prayer in my heart: O my Amma, please help me to feel AT LEAST as crazy for God as I feel for that earthguy!

I am blessed to spend five days with Amma this time, culminating in the all-night Devi Bhava experience that begins with a special puja (worship) on Thanksgiving evening. I will be filled with Infinite Gratitude, as there is nowhere in the world I would rather be on that holiday.

The day after Thanksgiving I will sleep, and then the following day I will begin heading back north, with a brief fun sojourn in San Rafael, where I will get my harmonium fixed at the Ali Akbar School of Music, drop off some books for Open Secret to review, and enjoy Jai Uttal’s kirtan that evening in Sebastopol. I am really excited about attending that kirtan, as I always dearly love chanting with Jai Uttal. He spent time in India with Sri Neem Karoli Baba-ji, and when I am around Jai, I can feel Neem Karoli Baba’s Presence. I am grateful that on this trip south, I will get to experience the darshan (vision or blessing) of both of my Gurus, Ammachi and Neem Karoli Baba-ji.

With a heart filled with Gratitude, I wish everyone a delightful Thanksgiving holiday. I am not taking my computer on the journey… I will be back on the Teja Blog next week…

May all beings everywhere have food to eat each day.

May all beings know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of bright kitchen shrine by Teja Shankara.

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In my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, I outline the practices that have significantly transformed and healed me. On my journey as a Raja yogini, I am finding that the Bhakti Yoga devotional practice of chanting (singing) is the easiest and fastest way to connect with the Divine.

At the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles, I lead simple chants while playing my harmonium. Sometimes I sing to Tara, the Tibetan Goddess of Compassion, or sing a Peace chant or a Hallelujah chant, but most of the time I lead chants with Sanskrit mantras, since those are the bhajans (devotional songs) closest to my heart. I especially love singing to Shiva, Durga, Kali, Krishna, Rama, Sita, and Hanuman.

On April 30^th, 2009, I began chanting the Hanuman Chalisa at least once each day. This 40-verse prayer, composed by poet-saint Goswami Tulsidas, praises the virtues of Sri Hanuman-ji, the Hindu monkey god. I usually sing along with a CD (“Flow of Grace”) by Krishna Das. I explained my journey with Sri Hanuman-ji in a blog article entitled “Happy Birthday to Hanuman!” on March 30^th, 2010.

Recently I read a book called I And My Father Are One: The Grand Unification, by Rabboo Joshi, a devotee of Sri Neem Karoli Baba-ji. In this delightful book (published by Rabindra Kumar Joshi, New Delhi, India, 2009), the author describes how a devotee named Siddhi Ma took over Neem Karoli Baba’s mission after he left his body. Once when a devotee was praying for something, Siddhi Ma strongly ordered him to “shout loud and wake up Hanuman-ji”. Ever since I read that, I keep thinking it over and over like a mantra: Shout Loud and Wake Up Hanuman-ji… Shout Loud and Wake Up Hanuman-ji… Shout Loud and Wake Up Hanuman-ji!

Waking up Hanuman-ji means waking up that part of myself that is Pure Devotion, Incredible Strength, and Deep Wisdom. Through singing (or shouting), may we all wake up and know the Light of our True Selves.

Jai Sri Hanuman-ji. Victory to Beloved Hanuman, who removes suffering and infuses our hearts with Bhakti (Devotion).

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of light on red leaves by Teja Shankara.

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Today is my Grandma’s 96^th birthday. I celebrate her birth and I joyfully acknowledge all the wonderful ways she has enriched my life with her humor, enthusiasm, brightness, and love. I attribute my positive attitude and cheerfulness to her example and guidance.

A few months ago, I had a dream that something intense would happen on October 10^th. The next day, as I reflected on the dream, I realized that the date to look for intensities would be 10-10-10… So when that date arrived, I watched for intensities, but nothing happened… or so I thought. Then, a few days later, I received an email from my parents saying that my Grandma had fallen down on 10-10-10. She didn’t break any bones, but she injured her hip and had to be in a wheelchair for a few weeks, which required family members to stay with her around the clock.

During that time, I began focusing on death at the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles. I gave a writing assignment on the topic, and it was very touching to hear what people wrote about death.

Inspired by a dream I had, in which my Grandma was holding me, I wrote and shared the following poem with the circle:

held in warm embrace
by living grandmother.
resting in deep love
yet witnessing underlying fear –
what if she dies this night
and i awaken
in the cold arms of death?

as her soul reaches mine
through dream space,
i realize i am more
afraid of her death
than my own –
what would death be for me
when it’s All Shiva, here or there….

but when she leaves
i won’t hear her living voice anymore
and I will have to once again
endure the grief
of parting.

Tejaswini says have faith!
Kali will cut through
all these attachments
and Shiva will burn them
to ashes.

I often talk with my sons (ages 10 and 13) about the delicate balance between really, really, really loving people, places, and things, AND not being too attached to those people, places, and things. As I celebrate my Grandma’s birth and life, I also witness myself fearing her death. There is such a bittersweet beauty here on this earth.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja in park by Teja Shankara.

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Photo by Ashley Marie - CC license

We create our realities with our thoughts. Cultivating the witness, that part of our minds that objectively watches everything we are, allows us to clearly see all of our thoughts. Through the power of watching our thoughts, we gradually change the way we perceive the world. We shift from viewing the world as a serious court of justice to seeing this universe as a joyous playground. Like gleeful children, we get to play and celebrate during this lifetime we've been given. On the playground we enjoy ourselves fully, even if sometimes we scrape our knees or get our hearts broken! No matter what pains we go through, we can't let the heartbreaks keep us from opening up and having a good time on the playground.

Here is a bit of news from the fun I'm having lately on the Tejaswini Playground ~

~ One gloriously sunny autumn afternoon, while having tea with my Reiki teacher, I expressed my frustration at the romantic-lila-related-sorrows that pass through my being, and he looked at me with so much compassion and said, “Release all those challenges, and know that there are Pure Lands on the earth, and maybe you will go to live at one of them later on.” Then, in response to me questioning my readiness to teach, he looked deeply into my being and said, “You are already lit up, and that’s what matters.”

~ I’m writing this month’s newsletter a bit early, because next week I’m heading down to see Ammachi at her ashram just outside of San Ramon, California. I am really looking forward to being there! Here is a quote from one of Amma’s speeches:

“Hinduism refers to many different deities…. But the Consciousness-Power that exists in all of them is one and the same. Whether you use green, blue, or red soap, the lather will be white. Likewise, the Consciousness-Power of the different deities is the same. It is this Consciousness-Power, this one God, that we should realize. It exists within us as well. It is all-pervading. It is present in the singing cuckoo bird, the cawing crow, the roaring lion, and the thundering ocean. It is that same power that sees through our eyes, hears through our ears, tastes through our tongue, smells through our nose, feels through our skin, and powers our legs as we walk. It is this power that fills everything. It must be experienced.”

(Lead Us to Purity: A Selection of Sri Mata Amritanandamayi’s Speeches 1990-1999, Compiled by Swami Jnanamritananda, M.A. Center, San Ramon, CA, 2007.)

~ Lately I have found renewed inspiration for promoting my books, including my spiritual memoir The Rita Lila: A Western Yogini’s Journey to Bliss. I’ve developed a Facebook page, “Teja Shankara Books” where I share quotes from the books, photos from my life, and uplifting quotes and links from others. Please take a moment to go to that page and hit the “Like” button at the top. On that page, if you click on the “notes” tab, you can read recent book reviews. These books make really great holiday gifts, especially the pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living, which is on sale at half-price, for just $5 per copy, through December 16^th. It is very easy to order on my website store (where 10% of every sale and donation goes to Amma’s charitable organizations), as all the purchase transactions utilize the services of Pay Pal.

~ This autumn has been incredibly beautiful in Ashland. I absolutely love bright colors, so I’ve been enjoying that aspect very much. A friend recently acknowledged that I am living a “Spirit-led life,” to which I say, “Yes, I am singing the glories of God!”

~ The day before Halloween, I participated in a Harvest Fair at the Jackson Wellsprings. Adorned in the costume of a “Red Girl,” I set up a books table and enjoyed being in community. I am so grateful for all that is happening at the Jackson Wellsprings. I feel like that land is calling so much spiritual healing to itself. Some things that will materialize there in the near future include: Ashland’s first Goddess Temple, a birth center, and a circle of sacred healing stones, brought by Circles for Peace.

~ In addition to all of that, I continue to lead the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles in the Community Room at Jackson Wellsprings. In a few weeks we will celebrate the one-year mark of those circles! There is such a sweetness, and a feeling of family, that is naturally arising among the attendees. When I lead the chants with my harmonium, I continue to be amazed that I can sing now, as I only just began singing in April, after believing for 40 years that I could not sing! By Amma’s Grace, my voice is gaining mantric power, and for that I am very grateful.

~ I continue to enjoy writing the articles for this Teja Blog. Recent titles include: “The Spiritual Practice of Surrender”, “Shining Light on Sorrow”, “Foot Soaking as a Spiritual Practice”, “Soul Expressions on Journal Covers”, “A Vignette of a Yogini’s Joyful Autumn Adventure”, “Awareness of Death as a Spiritual Practice”, and “Goddess Temple of Ashland in the Works!”

~ As I mentioned in my last newsletter, my boys (ages 10 and 13) have been very busy this Fall, and as their sports were winding down, I experienced a few meltdowns… And then, as I witnessed myself going deeper into Bliss States, I thought of that Kahlil Gibran quote, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

~ This week I am feeling incredibly inspired by a global meditation that began on 11-11-2010, and is happening for 11 nights. They already have more than 40,000 members on the New Reality Facebook Community Page. Please read the wonderful information on the New Reality website, and join me in this 11-minute meditation at 11:11pm EST (8:11pm PST) for the next 9 nights.

~ As more and more people begin to see the importance of meditation and other spiritual practices, this world will become a more peaceful place. For that, I am filled with Kritajuutaa, the Sanskrit word for Gratitude.

Sending Love and Light to you all in this harvest season. May you enjoy the playground of your life, and may your heart be filled with Kritajuutaa!

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, and peaceful sleep each night.

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Book cover designs by Gaelyn Miriam Larrick. Photo of Teja Red Girl by Rob Gustaveson.

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A few months ago, I had the opportunity to give Reiki healing sessions at the Peace Village Festival in Ashland. One afternoon, after giving Reiki for a few hours, I was dancing barefoot in the sunshine when I met a stunningly radiant soul sister named Graell Corsini. She was preparing to move from Mt. Shasta up to Ashland, so we excitedly exchanged cards, and I had a ‘knowing’ that this would be an important and inspiring connection.

Indeed, in the short amount of time that I have known Graell, I am already incredibly inspired by her enthusiasm. It is so beautiful to meet another visionary sister on the Light Worker Path… In Mt. Shasta, Graell was the owner and Artistic Director of The Flying Lotus Movement Center and of the AvaSha Goddess Temple, and now she has received guidance to create a Goddess Temple in Ashland.

So, on the November New Moon, a circle of local and visiting women gathered to begin planning for Ashland’s first Goddess Temple, a sacred sanctuary that will provide the community with the spiritual nourishment of the Divine Feminine. I am so excited to be part of this creation. Sitting in that circle of powerful priestess women, I felt deep gratitude.

We visualize the Goddess Temple opening in the Spring of 2011 on the Jackson Wellsprings land. That healing space will be open to men, women, and children, and we envision that there will be dances, meditations, spiritual counsel, and many other delightful offerings.

In addition to helping promote the Goddess Temple of Ashland (via avenues such as Facebook), I also look forward to leading circles of spiritual practices in the Temple…

Jayanti Mangala Kali! Victory to the Auspicious Mother Kali!

May all beings everywhere know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of women gathered to plan for Ashland Goddess Temple by Teja Shankara.

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At the Monday evening Radiance Rising Circles, we’ve been focusing on death for several weeks. I’ve been reading stories from a wonderful book called Graceful Exits: How Great Beings Die – Death Stories of Hindu, Tibetan, Buddhist, and Zen Masters, by Sushila Blackman (Shambhala Publications, 2005). Amazingly, while the author (a devotee of Swami Muktananda), was compiling the death stories, she found out that she had advanced lung cancer, and she died less than two months after finishing the book.

In this gem of a book, there is a quote from the Dalai Lama about the importance of meditating on death. He says, “Awareness of death is the very bedrock of the path. Until you have developed this awareness, all other practices are obstructed.” The more we keep death in our awareness, the more we remember the impermanence of everyone and everything in this manifest realm. Ideally, that remembrance – that everything is changing – guides us to go inside and connect with our deepest Self, that is Pure Unchanging Bliss.

So what does that look like in our everyday lives? Ideally, it means that we see the importance of committing to a daily meditation practice. The only way to find true inner peace is by going inside and connecting with our deepest selves. To begin a regular meditation practice, or to find renewed inspiration for your established sitting practice, please read my pocket book, Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living. This book makes a really fabulous holiday gift and it’s on sale for just $5 through December 16^th.

May all beings realize the importance of raising their own vibrations through regular, daily meditation practice. World Peace begins with each person finding inner peace. As Gandhi-ji said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

May all beings have food, clothing, shelter, and peaceful sleep.

May all beings know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of light in Japanese Garden (Lithia Park) by Teja Shankara.

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Yesterday I didn’t have anyone scheduled for Reiki energy healing sessions, but I needed to go by Ashland Holistic Health to pay my November rent, and I also needed to go to the post office to mail off some copies of Radiance Rising: Spiritual Practices for Daily Living. (This pocket book makes a great holiday gift and it is on sale for just $5 through December 16^th.) Since it was an incredibly glorious autumn day in Ashland, I decided to play hooky on my other work (i.e. finding large corporations to order hundreds of pocket books as inspirational holiday gifts for their employees)…

… And instead, I went walking about the town, accomplishing my errands on foot. During my two and a half hour journey, I enjoyed a vegan deli lunch in the sunshine outside the food co-op; bought myself a little gift at a shop that is going out of business after more than 30 years; and then found myself heading up to the Japanese garden in Lithia Park. The light shining through the colorful leaves was absolutely stunning. After snapping several photos, I sat on a stone near a pool, eating some dark organic chocolate and gazing into the red leaves reflecting on the water. While breathing in deep gratitude for this life, I felt renewed inspiration igniting little fires in the cells of my body.

As I walked home, I felt open to new potentialities manifesting in my life. I also giggled to myself that I felt quite like a satisfied tourist, even though I’ve lived in this town for 17 years!  I reflected that it is good to get out and go on spontaneous little adventures sometimes… and just then, the thought popped in my head: ‘go get a decaf. soy mocha!’ The logical part of my brain immediately responded, ‘no, there’s not time – I need to get home since the boys will be returning from school soon.’ But the thought got louder, on repeat…

… So, I stopped in Noble Coffee, but when I saw that mochas cost four dollars, I almost turned around and left! I guess I hadn’t treated myself to a mocha in years, and they didn’t used to cost that much money… But the ‘voice’ insisted that I get it anyway and just donate more money to Ammachi this month… So I got the decaf. soy mocha and sat at a table outside. I had to take a photo, because the artful design on the mocha’s surface delighted me so much… One time when I was at Amma’s ashram in Castro Valley, California, she talked about the importance of entertainment and laughter. As I thoroughly enjoyed that cuppa’, I thought that Amma would probably approve of me treating myself to that moment of joy.

May you also take some time to treat yourself to little moments of joy.

May all beings everywhere have food, clothing, shelter, and peaceful sleep.

May all beings know Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photos of autumn sunshine and cuppa’ mocha by Teja Shankara.

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One of my spiritual disciplines is writing regularly in a journal. My rather large collection of journals even includes some from childhood. I enjoy looking through them occasionally, to remember different phases of my life and to gain perspective on the time-line of the journey. At the end of each journal, I feel some sadness in letting it go, but then the next one invites me forward into its pages.

A few years ago, I began purchasing blank sketch pads and decorating the covers myself. I originally began this practice to save money, but it has evolved into a delightful expression of what is important to me at the start of each journal.

I just began a new journal a few weeks ago, and I’ve attached a photo of its cover here with this blog. The hawk gives me strength every time I look at it. (Hawk photograph by Barbara A. Brundege, from a greeting card printed by Pomegranate Communications, Inc.) I looked up “hawk” in Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power through the Ways of Animals (by Jamie Sams and David Carson, Bear & Company, Santa Fe, NM, 1988), and they write: “The shrillness of Hawk’s call pierces the state of unawareness, and asks you to seek the truth.”

Beneath the hawk, I placed three Indian Gurus. The first, on the bottom left of the collage, is Sri Ramakrishna (1836-1886), an ecstatic saint who represents the Bliss of total Surrender to Kali Ma, the Hindu Goddess of Time, Death, and Transformation. The middle image is of my Beloved Guru, Sri Neem Karoli Baba-ji (who left his body in 1973), whose Grace infuses my heart with love for Sri Hanuman, the monkey god who is utterly and endlessly devoted to Lord Rama.

The bright shining Light on the bottom right is my other Beloved Guru, Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, popularly known as Ammachi or Amma. She is a world saint who embodies Pure Love as she hugs millions of people and launches incredibly effective humanitarian projects in India and abroad. (www.amma.org) Above the photo of Amma giving a hug, I placed a small image of Lord Shiva, because Amma is One with the Divine Mother, and the Divine Mother turns her devotees into Shiva, the Hindu god of destruction. Any time something gets destroyed, it creates space for something new to arise, so Lord Shiva is actually the god of transformation. He helps us to dissolve our limited attachments and desires, so that we can experience the Bliss of our True Non-Attached Selves.

Inside this new journal, I pasted an image of Kali Ma and Hanuman-ji working together to rid a devotee of all his attachments. I feel so inspired looking at these images, and I bow down, asking for a deeper state of Surrender.

Jayanti Mangala Kali! Victory unto Thee, Auspicious Mother Kali!

May all beings everywhere know the Bliss of Peace and Happiness.

Om Shanti (Peace),

Yogini Tejaswini

Photo of Teja’s journal cover by Teja Shankara.

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